Over the past month, two different people, in different
situations, completely unconnected, and from different and separate
conversations have said that I’m “inspirational”, and that I should write and
blog more about my issues and how I try to overcome them.
I found this bizarre, insane, potty, and frankly wrong.
But then I thought about it a bit more. Just because I don’t
find myself inspirational in any way, shape or form doesn’t mean that others
don’t.
I find the fact that I’ve had to find ways to make sure I
eat before I take my morning medications annoying, but maybe others find that I’ve
found a solution to the problem inspirational and helpful.
I hate that I have to plan things by the hour sometimes, and
that I have to write everything in multiple calendars not just so I remember
them, but so that they actually get done. Others may find the combined use of
the calendar on my phone and a blackboard wall calendar extremely useful, and
not something they’d thought of before.
There are loads of things like
this, from pockets to pillows, medications to massages, the list grows
constantly.
While I look at the seemingly unending list of things I use
as tools to help me manage my various conditions as second nature now, or
common sense, or even just tricks and tweaks I’ve picked up after suffering for
so many years, that list might look like the holy grail of things to help them,
whether they’re just starting their chronic illness journey, or like me, have
been battling for many years and still struggle with some basics – or just spot
something they’ve never tried before!
I’m in the process of writing what looks to be a long and
informative article, originally designed to be sent to The Mighty, but I feel
that now might be a good time to resurrect my blog, and post this, the article
, and other things on it.
As I’m in a reasonably good place at the moment, maybe it’s
time I start airing my thoughts again.
I struggle every day. Sometimes it’s just fatigue, sometimes
it’s pain, sometimes it’s my depression, sometimes it’s anxiety, sometimes it’s
a fabulous combination or all of them. Different
things need different coping techniques and things I need to do to battle
through them, and manage it so I don’t end up a mess who can’t function.
Today I’m tired, so today I let myself nap. It’s not
something I do often, most of the time I can hold on, whether it by just
resting, or taking things slowly and easy so as not to drain what little energy
I have too quickly. I can shower, dress, apply some make up and blow dry my
hair in an hour fairly easily, and that’s without rushing. On days where I’m
tired but have to go out, I have to block out an hour and a half to two hours just
to do all that, because I know that if I rush myself or do it at my usual
speed, I’ll end up in a state and probably be unable to do what I need to.
I’m going to try and write a post weekly. I’m going to put
it on my calendars to make sure I do it. I can’t speak to the content yet,
maybe summarising how I coped with any of the weeks struggles, maybe just bits
on what I suffer from, I guess we’ll see how the week goes and how the muse
strikes. I will admit that writing this, and writing the bigger article, has
ignited something in me again. It’s reminded me how much I love writing, and
how well I can get my point across so much better when I put pen to paper (or
fingers to keyboard as it stands) as opposed to just speaking. I have time to
think about what I want to say, how I want to say it. I value that time. Time
to think. It’s time that I use to sort through the riot in my head and get
things straight.
I know that there’s not many people that read this blog, it
doesn’t get many views, but if you are reading this, and there’s something that
you’d like to read about from me and my points of view, then just ask.
