It's No Picnic

"It must be so easy being you."
"It must be lush getting to spend so much time in bed."
"You're so lucky that you don't have to go to work!"
"You're just lazy."
"You do [blah] every week, you can't be that bad!"
"You listen to too many doctors, there can't be all that wrong with you."
"Stop complaining, everyone aches occasionally."

To the people who constantly say these and other similar things to me, I say fuck off. It's not easy, it's not lush, it's not lucky. I'm not lazy, I am that bad, I do have all that wrong with me, and if you felt all the pain I feel every second of every day, you'd complain sometimes too.

I'll show you.

This is my minimum daily medication intake. I can, and often do, take other painkillers during the day upping the numbers. 

This is my AM medication. It's mostly vitamins to try and keep my immune system going, and my energy levels up, with a few painkillers thrown in to eradicate the pain build up from during the night.

This is my PM medication. It's a combination of painkillers so I can sleep and antidepressants to keep me sane.

This is my minimum weekday total of medication. 

Lots of colours, lots of painkillers, lots of empty sheets and boxes when I fill up my tablet dispenser every week.

These rolls of tape are used at least twice a week - as the tape lasts and stays on for a few days. 

The thick blue tape is used on my knee, and all three are used on my shoulder. I also often have to strap my ankles.

I do not take these tablets for fun. I do not take them for the sake of it. I do not take them just because. I do not tape up for attention. I do not tape up as a fashion statement. I do not tape up because it's fun. 

I take them to function. I take them to exist. I take them so I can actually do the little bits I actually do. I take them so I can survive. 
I tape up to keep my joints in the correct places. I tape up to support said joints. I tape up so they don't give way in agony after 10 minutes of activity. 


Next time you decide to take the piss, or comment on how jealous you are of my life - remember this post, and think about whether you'd want to sacrifice what you have to live my life, to take all those pills, and struggle with everything they're for, their side effects, and the need to take extra pills to counteract any damage they do.

Believe me, you'd be changing your tune really fast. 

Having a chronic illness is no picnic. 

Funding a Breakthrough

I have ME. It’s a huge part of who I am. I may not be my disease, but it certainly effects every second of my life.

It’s the part of me that’s unreliable. It’s the part of me that forces me to spend so much time lying down. It’s the part of me that I hate. It’s the part of me that makes everything more difficult. It’s the part of me that squashes the rest of me into a tiny box.

I am not my disease. I am my own person, I have my own story, my own personality, but keeping it afloat and not succumbing is a huge battle – a battle I don’t often have the time and strength to fight, especially considering I’m fighting my own body 24/7. I don’t know how to be the real me in my life anymore. I’m not sure who the real me is anymore. I’m lost in a sea of pain, fatigue, tiredness, a touch of self-pity, with an atmosphere of depression and anxiety surrounding it.

I want a cure. I need a cure. I won’t be seeing a cure in my lifetime. But, if I can raise money for the advancement of medical science, for awareness, for development and understanding, for a breakthrough, then maybe the next generation can be cured.

I may suffer every day for the rest of my life, but it won’t be for nothing if my fight and involvement can help the future.

Any money donated can help, please click the link below to help and show your support.

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